


But I Don't Know How

by erisgregory



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Confessions, M/M, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-12
Updated: 2019-05-12
Packaged: 2020-03-01 15:41:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18803302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/erisgregory/pseuds/erisgregory
Summary: Alex wakes up in the hospotal with Kyle asleep by his bedside. He's touched by the gesture and can't help remembering that he once had feelings for Kyle. But Kyle's straight and Alex would never risk their friendship by saying something.





	But I Don't Know How

**Author's Note:**

> for a tumblr prompt: Kyle’s genuine concern and caring start to make Alex’s heartbeat rise, because it reminds him that Kyle was his first crush.

Alex came to slowly. His head ached and he apparently had an I.V., but what really had his attention was Kyle asleep in the chair next to him, his hand wrapped tightly around Alex’s. The room is quiet, just the sound of the nurses station outside and Kyle is completely out. His lab coat and stethoscope are slung over the back of the chair but he’s still in his scrubs.

He’s beautiful like that, asleep and completely relaxed. Alex hasn’t let himself notice that in a long time, but just thinking it brings back a flood of memories. A time when his best friend was his first real crush. Nothing had ever come of it of course because Kyle had turned into a complete dick, but things were different now. Different enough that the feelings were starting up again.

Alex wasn’t going to let it go anywhere, he wasn’t going to push himself onto a straight guy or anything, besides he didn’t want to wreck their newly forged alliance. It felt too tentative as it was. Alex respected Kyle, really respected the man he’d become. 

Without realizing it, he’d begun to squeeze Kyle’s hand and only realized it when Kyle squeezed back, then opened his eyes.

“Hey, you’re up.” Kyle says softly leaning forward so he can take a look at Alex. “Do you remember what happened?”

“No.” Alex admits, blowing out a breath. Kyle is now leaning very close and Alex think he might get lost in those eyes. And that’s something he hasn’t thought about in a very long time.

“You’ve been staying at your dad’s bedside and I think you got dehydrated. You passed out. So I’m giving you some fluids and I want to keep you overnight for observation.” Kyle’s hand is on his shoulder and he’s squeezing gently. “How are you feeling now?” He asks.

“I think I’m okay.” Alex says. He’s having some feelings about Kyle’s hand on his shoulder but other than that he’s fine.

“Let me just listen to your heart.” Kyle pulls on his stethoscope. He warms it in his hand with a sideways grin that turns serious as he slips it under the neck of Alex’s hospital gown.

“Your heart is racing.” He says with concern.

“Uh yeah.” Alex answers because he really doesn’t know what to say. His heart is racing from looking at Kyle and thinking about how kind Kyle is for staying with him and holding his hand. How good looking Kyle is, or the fact that Kyle is one of the only people in Alex’s life who hasn’t let him down lately. 

“Yeah, you should take some deep breaths. It might be from the dehydration, but you should be doing better by now.” Kyle sounded so concerned that it hurt. Alex couldn’t just let him worry like that for no reason.

“It’s not that,” he said swallowing hard.

“It’s not?” Kyle asked, removing the stethoscope. He was still leaning over Alex eyes wide with worry.

“No, it’s just, uh, you. I guess. It’s nothing though, you don’t have to worry.” The last part was said so quickly that Alex was afraid Kyle didn’t hear him. He must have heard some part of it though because his eyebrows creased.

“Me?” Kyle asked, his eyes searching Alex’s.

Alex wanted to squirm under the scrutiny. “I shouldn’t have said that. You’re straight, I’m not trying to come on to you or anything.”

“I know you’re not, but also, I’m not straight. We just haven’t ever talked about it.” Kyle said plainly.

He stood up giving them both a little space. Alex felt like he still couldn’t breathe.

“Since when are you not straight?” Alex asked.

“Since college. Let’s just say I was very charming. To everyone.” He chuckled and then reached for Alex’s hand. “You know, if I thought you felt the same way, I’d have said something sooner. But you’ve been a little occupied.”

Alex took a deep breath. “I know, I have been. I’m not now.” He added.

“I see. So then this is something you could be interested in?” Kyle asked squeezing Alex’s hand once more.

“It is.” Alex answered softly, squeezing back.

Kyle leaned down again slowly, giving Alex plenty of time to speak up if need be before pressing the softest kiss to his lips.

“Then you need to get better. I’m not having our first date in a hospital.” Kyle whispered.

“Yes, doctor.” Alex teased. He could feel his cheeks going red from the kiss and the thought of actually dating Kyle.

He probably needed to touch base with Liz about this, but he felt pretty certain she wouldn’t mind.

“Alright, you get some rest. We’ll set you free tomorrow and then we can talk proper first date locations. I’m going to go check on your dad before I head home.” Kyle said.

“Thank you, Kyle, seriously, thank you for everything.” Alex told him, suddenly overcome with how much this man had been through because of his father.

“Any time man. See you soon.” With that Kyle left the room, leaving a warm glow behind him.

Alex was left with a lot to think about, but first he shot off a text to Liz for her to call him when she got a minute. Then he laid back and tried to rest as he’d promised Kyle he would do. It was hard to let the excitement wear off and start settling back down again, but as Alex drifted back off to sleep he could only think of second chances and his hope for a bright future with Kyle. Anything feels possible.


End file.
